Some may ponder the question, is it even necessary to get married?
Well, there is actually a criteria we can follow to understand whether or not it is necessary for one to get married.
Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allah) for Islam and the guidance we are given in all aspects of our lives.
Bismillah, all thanks to Allah and peace and blessings be upon His beloved Muhammad ﷺ.
We are informed that a person should get married when there is a need to do so and they are able to do so. Right, so how do we know we have a need and are able? For a Man, he needs to be financially able to provide the basic requirements (shelter, clothing and food). The need to get married often comes from a desire to be intimate. Marriage is required for any intimacy to take place therefore the Nikah enables a man and a woman to be halal for one another. The other main reason we get married, is to preserve the lineage.
We should always begin everything with Intentions. Think of some intentions of why you want to get married. What do you hope to achieve? What is the purpose? Why is it important to you?
There are MANY examples from the Noble Qur’an and Hadith with regard to Marriage and its importance. Do you know of any? Are there any in particular that stand out to you?
The criteria to get married is as follows:
- Wajib (Necessary) to marry if without it, you will fall into sin. Additionally, if one swears an oath (“I swear an oath that I will marry in Rajab 1446” for example), it becomes Wajib for them to marry.
- Mandoob (Recommended) – Where there is a need and financially able to do so.
- Mubah (Permissible) – Where there is a need and financially able to do so.
- Makruh (Disliked) When the 2 things cannot be completed, i.e, the need is not there and financially restricted. When there is no desire to marry and there is no fear of corruption. A person may be able to marry but they are ill for example, a man who has erectile dysfunction and the like.
- Khilaf al Awla (Better to leave) – A person who is able to marry but is busy with worship. Eg, busy memorising Qur’an at night, performing tahajjud etc.
- Haram (Impermissible) – One who cannot uphold the rights of the wife/husband.
There is a hadith narrated in the Sunan of Ibn Majah and the Mustadrak of Al-Hakim as follows: the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “We have not seen anything (better than) marriage for two people who love one another.” [Ibn Majah]
The scholars have mentioned the following with regard to this:
The hadith has a few different potential meanings, mainly that when someone loves someone else (who is lawful for them to marry), then the best thing is to get married to them. This is because fornication and lust do not increase love; only marriage increases true love because an “outer bond strengthens and increases the inner bond.” [Sindi, Hashiyat Ibn Majah; Qari, Mirqat al-Mafatih]
Also, that crazy infatuation and lust for someone can only be remedied by marriage – marriage is thus prescribed as the only “medication” or treatment for these feelings. [San’ani, Al-Tanwir]
One opinion even proposes that someone suffering from infatuation with someone they cannot marry *may* find relief in simply getting married to other than the person they are infatuated with as a solution to the need for companionship. [Ibid]
The hadith also means that people (especially women) should be allowed to marry the one they love rather than the one their parents prefer, all other things being equal. The hadith is directed at the guardians of women in its original context. [Suyuti, Al-Luma’ fi Asbab Wurud al-Hadith]
Finally, other scholars have read the wording to refer to groups of people who love one another. When a marriage occurs between two groups (families, tribes, etc.), it brings those people closer in love and even extinguishes some ill feelings that existed before. [Dihlawi, Lama’at al-Tanqih]
The hadith explanation was answered by Shaykh Abdullah Anik Misra.
And Allah knows best.
Marriage is not only the sunnah of our Master Muhammad ﷺ, it is the sunnah of ALL the Prophets (May Allah’s peace be upon them all). Even Sayyiduna Isa (alayhi salaam) will return and get married.
Marriage is a sacred contract and bond, a contract between you and your spouse in front of Allah.
Without Marriage, society cannot flourish, individuals cannot continue their lineage and they will not experience intimacy, in a permissible and rewarding manner.
People marry for companionship, emotional connection, to have children that will be raised to please Allah and many other reasons.
What are some of the reasons that make you want to marry?
Next, what to look for in a Spouse will be posted in sha Allah.